Inside the industry

Worm greetings

… And other real sentences from humanitarian emails.

“Dear —, worm greetings and wishing you a very worm weekend.”

“After the flood, the community was displaced to the hell.”

“It is time for the project’s mid-term ovulation.”

“We proposed some activities to burn these budget savings, such as whorehouse construction.”

“Achievements:

Pre-poisoning more than 7,500 NFI kits inside the country.”

“IT IS A FLOOD PORN AREA.”

“Our pictures taken during the workshop should be shown to us as slideshows.”

“Sexual harassment is needed for all health volunteers. Please can HR ensure this is provided?”

“I have a new SIM card. You should massage me here. They all massage me here.”

“I would like to thank you for your support and flexible reaching.”

“We will create more problems, and then me and —— will have a call later to discuss them.”

“Dear —, thanks for the blow.”

“It’s not a company. This is a friend who just wants to rent his cat.”

“After making more treats, the armed man left the office.”

“Section II:

The Project Mythology.”

“Yesterday I had a third meeting with Christ.”

“We are very appreciative and thankful regarding your useful gaudiness.”

“The Customs Clearance of the Sugar Crossing.”

“You mustn’t pray to the bank. Please pray money to me today.”

“After fierce battles in southern Tripoli, clam descended upon the frontline.”

“I am still waiting to get two quotations. Please find attached a quote and a cat.”

“Unfortunately, we cannot stop the emails.”

“I assure you, we are hardly working to resolve the issue.”

“Occupation: Bread barker”

“Does the United Nations have brunch in Gaziantep?”

“There were 34 soft males and 6 hard males.”

“Next week we will conduct Animal Vocational Training.”

“The most famous sport in America is plasticball.”

“One of today’s activities is labelling the soil between latrines.”

“I will try to do more piratical work.”

“I have International Neurotic Law Training.”

“I worked as a failed master trainer (FMT).”

“Please support by referencing this reference and having it signed.”

“Our motto: Achieving results through others.”

January 2022

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